The best part of waking up is Durincest in your cup
by zweasley
Summary: Durincest. Kili/Fili fluff. Thorin shows up sometimes too. Sort of like a compilation of Durincest. This is for you Shan, Syd, and Lore
1. Oh Thorin

_Shhhh he'll hear you_ Thorin sighed, too tired to even investigate his nephews' giggling. When they had retired to their rooms earlier than usual, he had assumed they'd be up to something.

"If you two are planning on playing a joke on me, you will not be pleased." More giggling erupted from their room and Thorin frowned. He debated going over and telling them to quiet down, but he knew they wouldn't listen. He sighed again, even louder, as he slouched deeper into his chair.

_Did you hear him? He sounds like Balin now! _Thorin jumped from his chair.

"I do not sound like Balin!" Thorin yelled. He was answered with more giggles. Thorin made up his mind. He walked through the hall outside their room and stood silently, waiting for a good moment to burst through the doorway and surprise them. He stuck his head slowly out to peek into their room and his heart stopped.

All he saw was blonde and brown hair attached to two heads that should not have been that close. He noticed Kili's fingers grasping at Fili's braids as he pulled him closer. Fili soon took control and began working his fingers across his brother's stubbly face and into his flowing hair as he kissed him lightly. Thorin nearly fell over.

"If only Thorin was out," sighed Fili as he broke apart for air. Kili smiled as his brother's lips found his again and he felt hands on his chest, slowly stroking upward.

"Fili! What are you doing?" The boys jumped apart, Fili's lips leaving his brother's more rapidly than Thorin could believe. Kili sat on the edge of their bed, staring at the floor.

"Oh hello, Thorin." Fili whispered, searching for a place to look besides the accusatory eyes of his uncle.

"I- I need to take a walk." Thorin stumbled away, ears ringing with the sounds of giggles. _But they're brothers! _His thoughts screamed.

Thorin knew they had not stopped. Could even imagine them continuing. Maybe even wanted to imagine it.

_Kili would be unsure if they should, but Fili would grasp his hands and tell him its all okay. Fili would slowly kiss his brother's fingers and move up his arm until he reached Kili's lips. The soft, pink lips would part slgihtly, and his eyes would close as Fili nibbled on his brother's lips. Fili would continue stroking his chest, hand slipping lower and lower until-_

"No!" Thorin yelled aloud. "Why do these thoughts plague me?" Thorin was so consumed with his musings he had not realized where he stood.

_Because you're gaaaaaayyy_ Fili whispered out his window above Thorin's head before collapsing into a fit of giggles and pulling Kili on top of him.


	2. Folgers Man

Kili rubbed his eyes as he stood in his kitchen, waiting for the coffee to percolate. The familiar sounds of the machine drowned out the light foot steps behind him.

"Kili I'm home!" Kili turned abruptly, all sleepiness gone.

"Fili! But you weren't meant to be home until next week!" He placed his empty mug down and embraced his brother, burying his face into the tangle of blonde hair.

"Well I've been missing you so much I couldn't resist." Fili grinned and dropped his duffel bag on the ground. He bent, unzipped it, and found a haphazardly wrapped present. His head dropped as he handed it to his little brother.

Kili snatched it from his brother's hands and jumped up onto the counter. Fili filled the mug on the counter with coffee.

"Did you get my favorite or is it that home brewers shit?" Fili asked, staring suspiciously at his cup.

"You know its Folgers." Kili said, unwrapping his present. His face fell when he realized what was inside.

"You don't like it do you? Damn I should have gone with the hair beads." Fili stared at the ground, his shame evident.

"Hey, no worries. I can't like everything." Kili tore the little ribbon bow off the box and toyed with it, turning it over in his hands.

"So, uh how's Uncle Thorin?" Fili asked nervously taking another sip of his Folgers.

"He's doing great. Got a new room mate. Some guy named Bilbo."

"Still gaaaaaayyy then?" Fili asked with a smile. Kili turned his head away as he laughed, almost expecting his uncle to burst through the door any second.

"Hey don't worry about the present thing." Kili scooted closer to his brother, _Too close. We haven't been this close since... well... _

"Yeah I'm not worried. Sorry man I just figured you should read these books. They're great they're called 'The Lord of the Rings' and I really liked them." Fili looked down trying to curb his nervous babbling.

"Do you know why you shouldn't worry about the present?"

Fili shook his head as Kili scooted even closer to him. Fili, his eyes never leaving his brother's, reached down, grabbed his Folgers, and took a sip.

"Please, tell me why I shouldn't worry." Kili smiled at his brother's words.

"Because you're my present." He plopped the little ribbon bow on Fili's head and started giggling. Fili couldn't help but giggle too.

Suddenly, Kili was leaning too close. He wanted to say so, tried even, but his brother's mouth was only inches from his own. Words seemed to burst from him of their own accord.

"I need to durinate. I mean urinate." Fili pushed his brother away from him and ran to the bathroom, his brother's giggling voice echoing in his ears.

He stared into the mirror. _I don't look any different_. Fili thought as he ripped the bow from his hair.

A knock on the door interrupted him.

"Kili called me! Open up the door for your old Uncle Thorin!" A voice boomed outside. Fili forgot his embarrassment and snapped the door open.

"Fili, what's wrong?" Thorin's open arms fell, never receiving the hug he so craved.

"I don't know, maybe its the Folgers. It's like, too much you know? I thought I liked it, or maybe I did like it. But now I've tried other types and maybe I like those better." Thorin nodded. He understood completely. He'd seen the commercials. He knew his nephew spoke not of coffee, but of something a lot gayer.


End file.
